so, as i mentioned in my last post (and in my facebook statuses (statusii?), and to every person i know, etc), i’ve been watching lots of gossip girl. i’d pretend it’s taught me some life lessons of depth that would bring some thoughts of the gospel. but instead, i’m gonna share the embarrassing things you might do (and maybe i have done) after watching gossip girl.
1. you text your friend updates and / or ridiculous thoughts:
it’s imperative that you tell them that they have hillary duff to look forward to. or remind them of the scene where serena and vanessa battle out their friendship over guitar hero at an upper east side party BECAUSE THIS IS CRITICAL AND REAL LIFE.
CLIP HERE (totally worth the uncomfortable watch. make it stop! also, the fact that i googled “gossip girl guitar hero scene” and something come up speaks of a whole other world of issues)
2. you think that chuck bass and blair waldorf are #relationshipgoals:
now, every reasonable bone in your body will confirm that H3LL N0 THEY ARE NOT. but somehow it’s endearing that these two horrific people are meant to be and play games like “make blair jealous with a random girl so it makes their love better”. this makes sense and is healthy. no one can tell me different #chuckandblair4ever
3. you decide to emulate blair’s / serena’s style:
is it fair that these movie stars that get made up and have the best hair / makeup / clothes sometimes? well, of course it is. serena’s hair is to die for. i may have done a hair style the other day and thought “this is SO serena of me”. why does serena have to show off her killer bod in every outfit? why are her legs so long? how do i become her? i also may or may not have left mid-episode to get blair waldorf’s lip color from….wait for it….. walgreens. because assuredly, that is where her stylist got that lip color from.
4. you make up a conversation in your head in which you “blair waldorf” someone:
there is nothing that has happened in my life probably ever that would warrant a blair waldorf reaction. but that won’t keep me from pretending i couldn’t deliver the snarkiest, most ridiculous comeback while wearing a “cute” headband. plus she’s kinda endearing, right?
5. you imagine a whole life where you live + party like the upper east-siders:
or shoot, even the humphreys who are portrayed as lower class in a GINORMOUS loft in brooklyn. do people really have parties like this? are high schoolers in the upper east side REALLY allowed to traipse to europe without telling their parents? are they this sophisticated, this sassy? i need to know. and the only way to know is by turning into one of them. “watch out upper east side, here i come.” (<- gossip girl voice, obviously)
6. you stalk all the characters in real life:
leighton meester, blake lively, chace crawford, ed westwick, penn badgley — gang’s all here. are they all friends? who are they in real life? do leighton and ed SECRETLY love each other in real life? (spoiler: no) what are they up to now? how are my friends?? this is when you are really starting to hit rock bottom.
7. you have GG withdrawals:
symptoms include but are not limited to:
A. humming the theme song in your head and contemplating putting it as your ringtone.
B. wondering what will happen next in the show? “she’ll never tell, xoxo gossip girl”
C. start thinking of funny scenes and laugh by yourself.
D. do any of the aforementioned things.
8. you go from hating chuck bass to loving him:
at the beginning of the show, i never understood how anyone ever could stomach the thought of him (or find him attractive). this was partially because of his disgusting hair cut at the beginning (and that BELT. blech) and partially because he was such a skeeze. but now? maybe it’s chuck and jenna 4 ever. they play his character out so well that it’s subtle and genius (a stretch for the word “genius” but i’ll allow it). his love for blair and stoppage of being such a womanizer helps.
9. plan a trip where you visit all the good GG sites:
(^^^ i’m dying that this exists!!! dying!)
why, when i’ve been in new york in the past did i not do this? ah, yes. because i hadn’t watched gossip girl yet. but now that i have, watch out NYC. a whole lotta ridiculousness coming your way! also, one time my friend was at a wedding before she had watched any GG and ed westwick and chace crawford were there. if she had only known then what she knows now!!! (i actually doubt anything would change but STILL) this is why you should watch gossip girl to ALWAYS be prepared in case you see any of them at a wedding. or go to new york. yeah….
10. start a gossip girl site and start writing things about your friends:
okay, i’m joking. way too far. plus, i doubt it’d be fueled for long since my best friend hasn’t slept with my ex boyfriend and brother and long lost father and then we’ve still remained friends. but alas, there’s still hope!
the fact that i researched all of these pictures and made a list means i put myself on my own sh!t list. but it was so worth it and comical to relive some of the embarrassment. WHO’S WITH ME? anyone?
❤ lil j.